April Twenty-Sixteen

wisdom below from The Sacred Journey by Frederick Buechner: 

"What each of them [the events of our lives] might be thought to mean separately is less important than what they all mean together.  At the very least they mean this: LISTEN.  

Listen. Your life is happening.  You are happening…  

A journey, years long, has brought each of you through thick and thin to this moment in time as mine has also brought me.  Think back on that journey. 

Listen back to the sounds and sweet airs of your journey that give delight and hurt not and to those too that give no delight at all and hurt like hell… 

The music of your life is subtle and elusive and like no other- not a song with words but a song without words, a singing, clattering music to gladden the heart or turn the heart to stone, to haunt you perhaps with echoes of a vaster, farther music of which it is part. 

 The question is not whether the things that happen to you are chance things or God’s things because, of course, they are both at once.  There is no chance thing through which God cannot speak-  even the walk from the house to the garage that you have walked 10,000 times before, even the moments when you cannot believe there is a God who speaks at all anymore.  

He speaks, I believe, and the words he speaks are incarnate in the flesh and blood of our selves and our own footsore and sacred journeys.  

We cannot live our lives constantly looking back, listening back, lest we be turned to pillars of longing and regret, but to live without listening at all is to live deaf to the fullness of the music. 

 Sometimes we avoid listening for fear of what we may hear, sometimes for fear that we may hear nothing at all, but the empty rattle of our own feet on the pavement… 

”Be not afraid, for lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.”  

He says he has been with us since each of our journeys began. 

 

LISTEN FOR HIM. 

Listen to the sweet and bitter airs of your present and your past for the sound of him…" 

Boston Marathon 2016- amazing grace

prayer from Trinity Church in Boston on the day before the marathon 

Start With the Ending

Below is a letter written by my friend Amy Young to her daughters on their trek back home from their adventure traveling for 5 months overseas this past year. As I read this, I was struck with how these reflections at the end of her trip are the prayers I have for Anna and Taylor as we prepare for our trip to Kenya and get ready to leave in less than a month. 

pictures from 2008 

A Letter to My Daughters by wanderingyoungs

A letter to my daughters Olive & Amélie -

Well…we are about to board the plane to head back from our journey.  6 continents. 5 months. 4 passports.  We did it!

As we close out this chapter and memory, I wanted to say a few closing thoughts to you.  As a family we have saved for years with the desire to wander out into the world for longer than just a short trip.  It was important to both your Dad and me that you not only see the neighborhood and country you are growing up in, but to have your eyes opened in broader ways to our world – especially Sweden and the Philippines, the countries and people that molded our hearts at a young age.  Thank you for trusting us, leaving the comforts of home and our community behind, and saying yes to this journey!

We hoped to inspire curiosity, understanding, and the desire to learn about things different from you...to gain confidence in navigating new situations, experiences where you do not have the instructions manual.  We wanted to model that human connection spans language barriers, socio-economic stratus, religions, and skin color.  That hearing someone’s story and opening oneself up to be touched by the way they see the world changes you -- changes you deeply, changes you forever.

You have seen in a new way what education, financial privilege, opportunity, and freedom can offer, and also felt the gut-wrench of so many of the children you met having to beg for their next meal. The challenges of this world are not easily resolved. There are nuances, unanswered questions, and disparities all around. Keep asking those questions, yet know that we believe that God’s hope is bigger than anything we can imagine.

What a privilege it has been to wander the world by your side.  I loved watching both of you step toward your fears over and over again and allow for growth during circumstances that were far from easy.  I delighted discovering new things about each of your personalities, roles you took on for our family, hearing your hearts while on quiet moments on buses and trains.  Thank you for your continued flexibility through the daily challenges.  Seeing others respond to your energy, joy, sense of fun and generous gift of friendship – watching those connections happen was one of the highlights of this trip for me.  You saw firsthand the impact YOU can make.

Please do not forget the faces or the stories of so many whose paths we’ve crossed.  Do not forget that as a family, we chose to stop, listen and extend our encouragement and listening ear in as many settings as we could.

We are leaving with memories of a lifetime, growth that was sometimes welcomed and sometimes difficult.  I hope you have gained insight, pride, and curiosity about your cultural heritage and I hope you continue to grow in gratitude for this special journey we were able to take together. We took a step of faith, and saw God's love, guidance and care each step of the way.

parenting never stops

good laughs for parents...

  

an old favorite picture I ran across of Jason with Anna below: 

and the following post to share by Kristen Welch about parenting: 

I must have stood at the threshold of my teen’s bedroom door for a good 5 minutes trying to decide my next parenting move.

With one foot in and one out, I felt like I was at a crossroads.

It turns out I was.

I was angry. I was hurt. I was tired.

It had been a rough few days with an on-going, not-yet-settled battle of wills. The argument started because I wanted my child to submit and my child wanted me to back off. But there was so much more in-between, unspoken and spoken-too-loudly: misunderstanding and hurt, both of us too stubborn to give in.

But when we hold out to win against our children, someone always loses.

With my kids at school, I stood there thinking about the harsh words we’d tossed at each other and I hated the memory. I was an expert at being right and standing my ground, but this battle raged and all of a sudden the fight drained out of me. I took a deep breath.

When I looked past the bad attitude, the messy room, the arguments, I saw a stressed out kid. My teenager was overwhelmed. I saw a younger version of me.

And I thought about the one thing I need the most when I’m at my worst: grace.

The word hit me hard because grace was the very last thing I wanted to offer my stubborn kid. Yet I knew it was the thing we both needed most.

I crossed into the room. There were clothes scattered and piles of papers all over. The bed was unmade and the laundry hamper overflowed and well, the room was a mess– a lot like me.

I did the last thing I wanted to do. The last thing I planned to do: I humbled myself and I served my child.  For the next couple of hours, I cleaned and washed, folded and prayed for my kid. I prayed for peace and joy and grace. I closed the door when I was done. At some point on my knees thinking about someone else, my anger and hurt faded.

Because I think we all know this really isn’t about a messy room or bad behavior–it’s about our messy hearts needing tenderness and second chances.

Sadly we picked up the fight where we’d left off later that day and I wondered if my sacrifice of pride and time had mattered. But then my teenager went upstairs and immediately came back down and stared at me in wonder, my heart pounded.

I followed upstairs and these words cut me to the core, “Why, Mom? Why would you do this?”

Because I see you. I see how stressed and overwhelmed you are with life and school. I did it because I want you to know this is how I feel about you. I love you enough to see past our differences and disagreements–I see you enough to serve you.

The ice splintered when my child whispered thank you.

The days and weeks that followed were filled with some pretty amazing conversations and a deep understanding that love cost us both something. And it’s a sacrifice worth making.

I’ve witnessed the same mercies again and again with my children when I’ve given them what they needed instead of what they’ve deserved. When our kids are behaving badly and acting out, yes, sometimes they need discipline, but maybe a little one-on-one attention is what they really want. When our kids are irritable and angry, yes, the might need to be left alone, but maybe the are just really dying for someone to ask why.

I believe God often reveals himself to our kids through us. They first know of His love because we love them. They know of His forgiveness because we show them forgiveness. They experience His grace because we offer it.

Parenting keeps us humble. Just when we think we’ve got one situation figured out, another one demands our attention. Godly parenting is a recipe of consistency, a dash of strategy, a dose of wisdom, limitless love and more grace than any of us deserve.

When we can respond to our children’s greatest, often unspoken need, instead of react to the current misbehavior or disobedience, growth happens for both of us.

And sometimes the best parenting move is the last one we want to make.

http://wearethatfamily.com/2016/02/sometimes-the-best-parenting-move-is-the-last-one-we-want-to-make/

attentiveness

Last night as I was tucking Anna into bed, I told her about the acronym "ACTS" that I sometimes use to pray. (A= adoration, C= confession, T= thanksgiving, S= supplication)

When I asked Anna what she could think of for the part for adoration, she immediately said, "I love God's attentiveness to detail" referring to the flowers she had seen during the day (pictures below that Anna took). 

Giving thanks for such attention to detail... 

our version of matching bowling shirts

We both wore these shirts without planning on being twins. 

Glad he does not wince at this kind of thing yet. :) 

Museum of Flight

giving thanks for a boy who still wants me to come on field trips

 and who even held my hand as we walked around the Museum of Flight today... 

  

cool Mission to Mars simulation at the Museum of Flight 

a tremendous thing...

celebrating one month early

Today, Taylor had a dream day with Asher and Liam going to a UW/Seattle U soccer match, playing soccer themselves together, going to Liam's soccer game, eating pizza & cake and then topping the day off with a movie. 

Thankful for these friendships and for a fun day to celebrate Taylor's birthday (a month early!)...

  

How was Boston?

Since I've been back home, I've run into a few people who have asked, "How was Boston?" 

I've found it a bit hard to summarize the whole experience into an elevator speech, but as I have tried, I've boiled it down to this: 

It was a wonderful day- a tough race for sure but such a gift. Though I had trained hard and felt ready to give it my best, I got some severe leg cramps early on in the race, and for the last 15 miles I just had to gut it out.  But the thing that is amazing is that at mile 21 when I pulled over to stretch my calf that was killing me, a girl walked over to me and told me she was going through the exact same thing. Then we ended up shuffling along together despite the pain we both had. 

We were able to choose joy and gratitude together, and we were able to finish the race. 

Only God would send someone to me who was going through the exact same thing. 

Out of 30,000 people, he gave me Leslie Owens who had trained hard like I had, who had a similar qualifying time and who ran with me to the end and made it a remarkable day.  She's a keeper. 

I know so many people have stories about their Boston experience, but I'll have to say that I'll take this one as it reminds me how God loves us so much that he cares about the tiny details of our lives and orchestrates such amazing grace in our midst.   

4-22

with all our excitement with being in Nashville and in Boston, 

I had not shared these pictures from before spring break.... :) 

so thankful for Anna and Ellie 

homework time 

our monthly trip to the food bank with neighbors to volunteer