Today is a Blank Page

I read this yesterday from a book Tracey gave me for Christmas a few years ago and was so grateful for the good words and reminder here. (Thanks, T, for the gift that keeps on giving!)  

"Sometimes I look back on my life and I want to delete that day, 

that stupid mistake, 

that rash decision, 

that agonizing seventy-two-hour period, 

that blow-up, 

that breakdown, 

that embarrassing infraction, 

that careless slip of the tongue. 

I want to delete them from my life as if they never happened. 

Because regret hurts, shame burns, remorse sticks. 

But then I have a heart-to-heart with my almost-teenage daughter, 

I have an honest dialogue with a friend, 

I have a little talk with myself, 

and I realize something. 

If I were to delete my most regretful experiences, 

I wouldn't be here, on this particular page, in the story of my life. 

I wouldn't have the wisdom that allows me to look in my child's eyes and say, "I know how it feels to never want to show your face again. I survived, and I know you will too." 

I wouldn't have the compassion to hold my friend's hand and say, 

"That happened to me too. You are not alone." 

I wouldn't have the experience that causes me to stop and think 

before making the same mistake twice.  

If I deleted all the poor choices, the pitfalls, and the wrong turns of my life, 

my story would not be what it is today; I would not be who I am. 

But here's the best part: 

despite the marred pages of my past, 

today is a blank page

lined with yesterday's wisdoms and braveries

that came from falling down and getting back up. 

My story is not pretty; it's flawed, but it's real, and it's still going. 

Lately I've noticed a beautiful theme emerging: 

Hope renews. Self-compassion heals. Forgiveness frees. 

Today is a blank page. I will hold on to the hope that with each page, my story only gets better." 

-Rachel Macy Stafford, Only Love Today