Check This Box if You’re a Good Person-
by Rebecca Sabky
APRIL 4, 2017
HANOVER, N.H. — When I
give college information sessions at high schools, I’m used to being swarmed by
students. Usually, as soon as my lecture ends, they run up to hand me their
résumés, fighting for my attention so that they can tell me about their internships
or summer science programs.
But last spring, after I
spoke at a New Jersey public school, I ran into an entirely different kind of
student.
When the bell rang, I
stuffed my leftover pamphlets into a bag and began to navigate the human
tsunami that is a high school hallway at lunchtime.
Just before I reached the
parking lot, someone tapped me on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, ma’am,” a
student said, smiling through a set of braces. “You dropped a granola bar on
the floor in the cafeteria. I chased you down since I thought you’d want your
snack.” Before I could even thank him, he handed me the bar and dissolved into
the sea of teenagers.
Working in undergraduate
admissions at Dartmouth College has introduced me to many talented young
people. I used to be the director of international admissions and am now
working part time after having a baby. Every year I’d read over 2,000 college
applications from students all over the world. The applicants are always
intellectually curious and talented. They climb mountains, head extracurricular
clubs and develop new technologies. They’re the next generation’s leaders.
Their accomplishments stack up quickly.
The problem is that in a
deluge of promising candidates, many remarkable students become
indistinguishable from one another, at least on paper. It is incredibly
difficult to choose whom to admit. Yet in the chaos of SAT scores,
extracurriculars and recommendations, one quality is always irresistible in a
candidate: kindness. It’s a trait that would be hard to pinpoint on
applications even if colleges asked the right questions. Every so often,
though, it can’t help shining through.
The most surprising
indication of kindness I’ve ever come across in my admissions career came from
a student who went to a large public school in New England. He was clearly
bright, as evidenced by his class rank and teachers’ praise. He had a
supportive recommendation from his college counselor and an impressive list of
extracurriculars. Even with these qualifications, he might not have stood out.
But one letter of recommendation caught my eye. It was from a school custodian.
Letters of recommendation
are typically superfluous, written by people who the applicant thinks will
impress a school. We regularly receive letters from former presidents,
celebrities, trustee relatives and Olympic athletes. But they generally fail to
provide us with another angle on who the student is, or could be as a member of
our community.
This letter was
different.
The custodian wrote that
he was compelled to support this student’s candidacy because of his
thoughtfulness. This young man was the only person in the school who knew the
names of every member of the janitorial staff. He turned off lights in empty
rooms, consistently thanked the hallway monitor each morning and tidied up
after his peers even if nobody was watching. This student, the custodian wrote,
had a refreshing respect for every person at the school, regardless of
position, popularity or clout.
Over 15 years and 30,000
applications in my admissions career, I had never seen a recommendation from a
school custodian. It gave us a window onto a student’s life in the moments when
nothing “counted.” That student was admitted by unanimous vote of the
admissions committee.
There are so many
talented applicants and precious few spots. We know how painful this must be
for students. As someone who was rejected by the school where I ended up as a
director of admissions, I know firsthand how devastating the words “we regret
to inform you” can be.
Until admissions
committees figure out a way to effectively recognize the genuine but intangible
personal qualities of applicants, we must rely on little things to make the
difference. Sometimes an inappropriate email address is more telling than a
personal essay. The way a student acts toward his parents on a campus tour can
mean as much as a standardized test score. And, as I learned from that
custodian, a sincere character evaluation from someone unexpected will mean
more to us than any boilerplate recommendation from a former president or
famous golfer.
Next year there might be
a flood of custodian recommendations thanks to this essay. But if it means
students will start paying as much attention to the people who clean their
classrooms as they do to their principals and teachers, I’m happy to help start
that trend.
Colleges should foster
the growth of individuals who show promise not just in leadership and
academics, but also in generosity of spirit. Since becoming a mom, I’ve also
been looking at applications differently. I can’t help anticipating my son’s
own dive into the college admissions frenzy 17 years from now.
Whether or not he even
decides to go to college when the time is right, I want him to resemble a
person thoughtful enough to return a granola bar, and gracious enough to
respect every person in his community.
Rebecca Sabky is a former admissions director
at Dartmouth.
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