Tuesday, October 31, 2023

October Twenty-Twenty-Three

EVERY SINGLE PARENTING CLICHE IS TRUE!— I am simply here today to bear witness to the fact that it DOES go by both the slowest and the fastest, that you blink and you HAVE missed it and that you keep falling more and more in love with each new stage and they WILL outgrow you and grow you and you will feel utterly exhausted and wildly filled up at the same time. And it feels both never ending and then you wish it wouldn’t end. -Lisa Jo Baker

Chicago Marathon run in honor of some wonder women in my life.

I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. ― L. M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

We’re here for a little window. And to use that time to catch and share shards of light and laughter and grace seems to me the great story. -Brian Doyle

Living as prayer. I think that is when I am at my best. Because seeing through prayer provides a remarkable clarity. Not in the doctrinal sense, but because it is, at best, the lens of a love for every tattered inch of this earth. -Imani Perry

💛💛💛💛💛

Monday, October 30, 2023

Weekend Gatherings

Saturday night dinner (Tamara's belated birthday gift to me to host a fancy dinner party) - I guess 50 is the jubilee year and we get to celebrate all year!

Kelly's birthday gathering Sunday night

Sunday celebration across the street to mark 20 years that the Hestads have been in their house!

Sunday, October 29, 2023

Morning Glory

a few pictures that Sally snapped in our running group this morning...

seriously- what a way to start the day!

Saturday, October 28, 2023

Glimmers

glimmers today:

a picture of Anna's socks with green pom poms for her ultimate frisbee game today at UCLA

gorgeous fall colors

a paper banner that hangs above our porch swing that has been there since Anna's 18th birthday

that continues to sway in the wind and bring me joy

the excitement in Taylor's voice today at 3:28 pm today when he let me know that he had just landed a backflip on a step up with his friend Alec on some trails near campus

a bunny who keeps watch at the end of the hallway

Friday, October 27, 2023

Benign Neglect

A lot of friends have asked how empty nesting is going. Because our fall schedule was so busy after dropping Taylor off at college with Anne Carney's wedding in Nashville, the birthday celebration for Peter in Florence, the Chicago marathon, and Jason's college reunion in CA , we did not settle into a routine right away. But, I will say that there are certainly fewer moving parts in general, and our grocery bill is much smaller these days. Below is an email my friend Jan sent to me, and it's such a lovely reflection that I wanted to hold on to.

Dear Emily,

Congratulations and welcome to this next phase of parenting: We always called it "Benign Neglect." Now your responsibility is to encourage & affirm, maybe ask clarifying questions. Otherwise, it's "hands-off." Not easy. Especially for mama's & their boys. Whenever mine was about to leave across the country, I knew there was a deep sob waiting in the shadows. Wrenching. But over quickly, and then no problem. When we were fearful, it was helpful to remember that as much as we loved each of our kids, God loved them more and had more power to take care of them. An early picture was also helpful--that parents are the bow and kids are the arrows, which will be shot into the future, where we will never be able to go. That is the plan. They are supposed to leave us. And come back as brothers & sisters in Christ.

Now, with my Eldest at 48, Middle at 45, Youngest at 41, they have each found a life partner and have their own kids to worry about. We still pray for them every day, thinking, who else will? That is now our assignment. We know them better and for longer than anybody else on the planet, so who better to pray and cheer for them and grieve with them when life takes an unexpected turn (a divorce for our middle, and then a kidney transplant). Grace is received day by day.

My love to you,

Jan