Tuesday, January 6, 2015

welcoming the light...


“What’s that little candle for?” Willie asked......

Jamie rubbed a hand through his hair. “Aye, well. It’s … maybe a way of praying—and remembering. Ye light the candle, and say a prayer and think of people ye care for. And while it burns, the flame remembers them for ye.”
Excerpt From: Gabaldon, Diana. Voyager

with our beloved silver candlesticks from Uncle Dan from our wedding.... 
always a reminder of grace that abounds.... 


Today (January 6th) marks one year since Jason lost his job. This has been a long road for sure and has required perseverance, hope and faith to push us up the hills. As I look back on this year, I am so grateful for the ways that the children have grown through this. Anna was the one who prayed last year on the day we found out: "Dear God, please help Daddy find a job. We know this is in Your hands." Those words have brought me perspective and have kept me going on many a day.  Taylor commented this summer about how we've all learned to wait in this time after he had been waiting for weeks for some lacrosse equipment to arrive in the mail which was really really hard for him. He linked it to how I had to wait on my visa for my trip to India until the last minute and Jason has had to wait for a job.  Taylor also told me that he had been praying for him every night for a while when I reminded them about Jason's job interview that he had for Seattle University in December.  These are all beautiful windows into the work the Spirit is doing in Anna and Taylor through all of this. 
Last night, as we lit candles for Epiphany and noted that it had been a year of walking on this road of the job search, we held hands around the table and prayed together for Jason. 

Taylor said "Please help Daddy find a job." 
Anna said "Please help Daddy find something that he does not dread going to everyday." 
And I closed with "We thank You for how You've provided. We know this is in Your hands." 

I loved what Anna said because in some ways it reminded me of the verse in Genesis about the curse being given to man of sweat, labor, work and toil.  And this for men often defines life and falsely can be a place where men (and women too of course) look to find identity.  
So in this year, when Jason has demonstrated true grit and has had to press on, network, and work like crazy to find the next step, I am seeing how God redeems.  Work does not define us, and our identity is grounded in the fact that we are indeed His beloved children who are trying to keep holding this situation up to the light each day. God has provided for our family through some contract work along the way that Jason has had through Seattle Public Schools and a few other avenues too and through more work for me at Seattle Pacific University for which we are so grateful.  There may be some possible doors opening up soon, but in the meantime, we are knocking, seeking, and waiting. 
God has been cultivating trust in our family, and while we don't have the answer all neatly packaged in a box with a ribbon on top, we are continuing to hold onto hope. 



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