Today, when Anna got home from school, she was wound up into a little ball of stress. She raced up to her room to change into her dance clothes and then raced into the bathroom to do her hair with tears streaming down her face while trying to put her hair in a bun and then raced to the car where I was waiting for her to take her to dance class.
As we drove to class, I gently asked her if she wanted to tell me what was going on. She just said that she was stressed because it took longer to get home and she was feeling rushed. I then asked her to consider what the worst case scenario was here, and she said, "I might be late." I asked her what happens if she is indeed late to dance, and she said it's no big deal. So we explored this a bit more and then I told her about one of my favorite classes in college from a brilliant professor named Robert Sapolsky (pictured below here).
He was wicked smart and also hilarious (he had the humor of Gary Larson in class, and it felt like each class was a living and breathing rendition of the Far Side cartoons as he lectured eloquently each week on Human Behavioral Biology.)
I told Anna that one of the books we read in class was called Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers.
"Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers is a 1994 (2nd ed. 1998, 3rd ed. 2004) book by Stanford University biologist Robert M. Sapolsky. The book proclaims itself as a "Guide to Stress, Stress-Related Diseases, and Coping" on the front cover of its third and most recent edition. The title derives from Sapolsky's idea that for animals such as zebras, stress is generally episodic (e.g., running away from a lion), while for humans, stress is often chronic (e.g., worrying about losing your job). Therefore, many wild animals are less susceptible than humans to chronic stress-related disorders such as ulcers, hypertension, decreased neurogenesisand increased hippocampal neuronal atrophy. However, chronic stress occurs in some social primates (Sapolsky studies baboons) for individuals on the lower side of the social dominance hierarchy.
Sapolsky focuses on the effects of glucocorticoids on the human body, stating that such hormones may be useful to animals in the wild escaping their predators, (see Fight-or-flight response) but the effects on humans, when secreted at high quantities or over long periods of time, are much less desirable. Sapolsky relates the history of endocrinology, how the field reacted at times of discovery, and how it has changed through the years. While most of the book focuses on the biological machinery of the body, the last chapter of the book focuses on self-help."
In essence, the zebra experiences stress when it is getting chased by a lion, and
it either survives or gets eaten. When a little girl experiences stress (about a test or being late, etc.), her mind is triggering the same stress response as the zebra (except she is not going to be eaten by a lion).
After explaining this concept briefly to Anna, I told her that the good news is that there were no lions chasing her today. The bad news is that her body was responding to the situation as if there were lions all around.
It's all about perspective and how we need to remember that we have a choice in how we respond to the circumstances around us.
I told her a funny story about when she and Taylor were little and we were headed to the downtown library for story time. These weekly visits were some of my favorite memories from that season of life. On one occasion, however, I was rushing to get there on time and was a stressed out mama. As I was circling in the parking garage to get a spot, I was zipping around a corner and a woman backed out right into my bumper. Since we were not going that fast, there was no damage to either car, but the point is that I was rushing to find a parking spot to try to get to story time on time at the library.
I laugh thinking about this now. And Anna even laughed with me about it. Really?! I was stressed out while hurrying to get to story time? Lions were not chasing me then either, but it sure seemed like there were lions in that parking garage that day. And yet, I have a lot more perspective and it is funny to think about now.
“On every level of life, from housework to heights of prayer, in all judgement and effort to get things done, hurry and impatience are sure marks of the amateur.” -Ann Voskamp
So, as I dropped sweet Anna off at dance class this afternoon (at 4:00 on the dot right on time, I might add), I reminded her that she was not a zebra and that she should be safe in her classes from the lions. She had a smile on her face and a light heart, and all was well with the world again.
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