Back in December on one of our first training runs together, Anna had been having rough day. Taylor had tattled on her about something and she was feeling awful. She ran outside at my parents' house and climbed the big magnolia tree. I wanted to be the kind of mom who would climb up there to sit next to her and listen to her talk it out, but she climbed up so high that I was not sure if I could get up that far. Here is a picture of the tree just to give you an idea that I was not just being a chicken here. She had climbed almost 50 feet high in this tree, and let's just say that I did not want to end up in the ER over Christmas. So, I asked her to come down and I convinced her to blow off some steam while we went on a run together.
As we started our run, I asked her if she could tell me what happened. She relayed what had happened that Taylor had tattled on her for saying a bad word. To be honest, I don't even know what she said, but the point is that she felt terrible about it. Even if I did not think it was a big deal, I knew that this was something that she felt crushed about, and it was hard for her to let it go. She burst into tears and admitted that she felt so ashamed. I listened and then said to her that I understood this feeling of being stuck in regret. I then told her that there is a prayer that I learned as a girl growing up in the Episcopal church that has given me words when I did not know what to say.
They come from the Prayer of Confession from the Book of Common Prayer:
Most merciful God, we confess that we have sinned against you in thought, word and deed, by what we have done, and by what we have left undone. We have not loved you with our whole heart; we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We are truly sorry and we humbly repent. For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ, have mercy on us and forgive us; that we may delight in your will, and walk in your ways, to the glory of your holy name. Amen
As we talked more, it seemed like magic. The worry lines on her forehead smoothed out. The tears went away. Saying this prayer was like a bath that washed her off and gave her a fresh outlook and hope. She was able to begin again.
I told her that we could not only train for this race together (the Hot Chocolate Run in March) but that we could also learn this prayer together. So by the end of our training together, Anna would be able to run 5K without stopping and she would know this whole prayer.
And through the weeks, we practiced saying this on our training runs together. She would repeat after me for a while until she got it all on her own. So, not only did she run 3.1 miles without stopping with hot chocolate and fondue as her prize, she also learned this prayer and can wear it like a medal around her neck too. Now, it's always with her and will be like an old friend she can lean on when she needs to use these words to find her way back home again.
from our first training run....
to our final mile in the Hot Chocolate Run last Sunday!
more favorite prayers and words about confession to set us free....
Holy and Healing God,
We confess that we have fallen short
Of the life you desire for us.
We choose our priorities over Your commandments.
We divide the body of Christ.
The earth groans under our demands.
Have mercy, O God.
Restore us and all things to health,
That we may do justice,
Love kindness,
And walk humbly with You. Amen.
I read the chapter on Confession in Richard Foster’s book Celebration
of Discipline and was so encouraged. “Confession begins in sorrow, but it ends in joy. There is celebration in the
forgiveness of sins because it results in a genuinely changed life.” (pg 153)
“This redemptive process is a great mystery hidden in the
heart of God. But I know that it is true. I know this not only because the
Bible says it is true, but because I have seen its effects in the lives of many
people, including myself. It is
the ground upon which we can know that confession and forgiveness are realities
that transform us. Without the cross, the discipline of confession would be
only psychologically therapeutic.
But it is so much more. It involves an objective change in our
relationship with God and a subjective change in us. It is a means of healing
and transforming the inner spirit.” (pg 144).
“God
is the ultimate musician. His music transforms your life. The notes of
redemption rearrange your heart and restore your life. His songs of
forgiveness, grace, reconciliation, truth, hope, sovereignty, and love give you
back your humanity and restore your identity.” Paul David Tripp, A Quest for
More
"Confession
frees us from ourselves and releases us to worship." –Richard Foster Celebration
of Discipline pg 201
"In Scripture, confessing our sins is simply the way of speaking the truth to God so that we can stop living in the far away corner and get on receiving love. Confessing our sins isn't the point. Forgiveness is the point. Love and friendship is the point. Living the good life – that's the thing God's working in all this. Lent is the season of clearing the air, of confessing what is, the season of getting on with the good life.
Confession is about healing that pours into our cracked places, our alone places. Confession is about coming clean with the fact that, left to our lonesome, we are lost – but also owning the fact that we dare to long for much, much more. To confess is to say the truth about ourselves and our place and our desire. Confessing how we've trespassed the commandments is a humbling thing. Confessing how we've abandoned good and true desires — that's a terrifying thing.
Orthodox priests speak this prayer after private confession:
May God who pardoned David through Nathan the prophet when he confessed his sins, and Peter weeping bitterly for his denial, and the sinful woman weeping at his feet, and the publican and the prodigal son, may the same God forgive you all things, through me a sinner, both in this world and in the world to come, and set you uncondemned before his terrible Judgment seat. Having no further care for the sin which you have confessed, depart in peace.
Clear the air. Say it clean. Then depart, without a care. In peace." –Winn Collier
How can
we receive the day as a gift if we enter it enslaved to the past and fearful of
the future—that is, if we enter it without the practice of forgiveness?
Receiving
the Day by Dorothy Bass Pg 118
–Eugene Peterson Conversations: The Message with its
Translator (pg 1937)
The word forgiveness has been
watered down in our society. It
frequently means no more than “I’ll let it go this time. I won’t let it bother
me, but don’t do it again.” It’s
often the verbal equivalent of a shoulder shrug. But in reality, it’s a word
that brims with vitality. Condemning is simply a
reactionary response to an offense.
Condoning is simply laziness, avoiding the difficulties in dealing with
what’s wrong. But forgiving is an
immensely creative act, shaping both the person who forgives and the one who is
forgiven. True forgiveness is the
work of an artist using the tools of the Spirit in a skilled and disciplined
interaction with the hurt that has been inflicted. When we do that type of work, we most reflect the creative
work that God did in creation, bringing form out of formlessness and beauty out
of chaos.
-Eugene
Peterson Conversations: The Message with its Translator pg 1802
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